🌐📜 A Message from Virgil Twobyfour (Apparently) 📜🌐

Young Keith has informed me, with some urgency and a series of unnecessary whooping sounds, that I have now "achieved 200 followers." I assume this is some sort of migratory issue, and would like to apologise to the villagers in case this means a large flock of confused people are now wandering the lanes behind me asking for directions and small change.

Nonetheless, I have been instructed by Keith to "post a celebratory thing," which I gather is a ritual of sorts, possibly druidic. So here it is:

🎉 Huzzah! 200 of you! 🎉
Please be gentle with my bins and do not startle the courgettes.

Now then. Between us, I am becoming increasingly concerned about Young Keith. He’s taken to muttering at screens that glow blue in the dark like haunted jam jars, and scrawling arcane symbols on the backs of napkins and old supermarket receipts (I include one of his latest, which he pushed under the shed door at dawn this morning, humming suspiciously to himself). Just yesterday I caught him whispering to a USB stick and feeding it a fig. He claims it’s “content strategy.” I think it’s a warning sign.

He also keeps trying to explain what an "algorithm" is. I told him I haven’t danced one of those since the Village Hall went non-Euclidean during the polka incident of '72. I still can't go near parquet flooring without feeling faint.

Anyway, I thank you all most sincerely for following whatever it is you think you're following. If it turns out to be an ancient curse or some sort of digital cult, please bring a thermos and don't wear nylon.

Yours in confusion, crumpets and cautious optimism,
Virgil Twobyfour
Shwami of the Shed | Horological Pessimist | Uneasy with Sandwich Toasters

P.S. Keith says if this post gets "engagement" he will let me light the bonfire this year, though he insists I must not put the toaster on it again, even if it continues to hiss Biblical phrases at night.