Little Country W.I. Facebook Group – Public Post

🧵 Thread: “Has anyone seen Terry?”
Posted by: Pamela Goodwin (Chair, Craft Subcommittee & Regional Scone Laureate)
🕰️ 7:12pm

Pamela Goodwin
Ladies, has anyone seen my Terry? He said he was popping to the shop for a jar of potted beef and a copy of The Telegraph & Poultry Monthly and hasn’t been back since midday. I wouldn’t normally worry, but he took his string bag, his gardening hat and a Werther’s Original, which he normally saves for proper journeys. I’m starting to get concerned.

Brenda Hoggins (Bunting Oversight Officer)
I saw a man fitting Terry’s general shape wandering near the Travelling Fayre about half two. He was looking confused and holding what looked like a raffle ticket and a jam jar of mustard. I assumed he was heading home from one of his usual ‘errands’.

Moira “the Teeth” Feltham
Could’ve been him. Could’ve been a scarecrow. Hard to say from a distance when there’s this much pollen in the air. Was he wearing trousers?

Pamela Goodwin
He was when he left the house. He’s usually very firm on that.

Eileen Ransom (WI Paranormal Subgroup Chair)
Oh I felt something strange round the Fayre earlier. My bunting twitched. The air felt charged, like after too much rhubarb wine. And I swear I heard my own name being whispered from the coconut shy.

Maggie Pewter
Don’t worry Pam love, maybe he’s just got caught up watching that awful puppet man. The Punch & Judy’s been drawing in the pensioners like moths to a patio heater. Harold came back glassy-eyed and speaking in Latin.

Dorothy Grimshaw (Retired Traffic Warden)
Latin or Latin sounding? He could’ve just had too many pear drops again. Happens to Neville.

Pamela Goodwin
I’ve checked the allotment, the church hall, and all three pubs. Only the Red Ferret was open and the only sign of Terry was an open packet of gentleman’s relish and a single sock in the snug.

Mavis Knowling
Well, that is odd. Is it the sock with the cartoon ferret on it? Because I’ve just seen that tied to the top of the Helter Skelter like a warning flag. I assumed it was a new kind of prize.

Moira “the Teeth” Feltham
Once the Fayre’s in town, the usual rules don’t apply. Remember what happened to Bobbin Yates in ’94. Went in looking for a toffee apple, came out married to a ventriloquist’s dummy and two stone lighter.

Brenda Hoggins
Best we say a quick novena and leave a saucer of pickled eggs outside, just to be safe.

Pamela Goodwin
Right. I’m off down to the field with his emergency whistle and a torch. If anyone sees Terry, tell him dinner’s in the dog and he’s missed Bargain Hunt.

🧵 Thread locked by Admin due to “Unsettling Bunting Incidents.”
👁️ 43 reactions, including: 😯😬😵🧃🧵🥚🧦🎠