Match Report: The Pyz & District Bugle

By August Terrible, Senior Sports Correspondent

Pyz & Nether Widget Cricket Invitational - Saturday Last

It was with a sense of mild anticipation and a pocket full of caraway seeds that I approached the village green this past Saturday, for the long-awaited clash between our own Pyz Gentlemen’s Eleven and the stout-hearted chaps of Nether Widget Cricket Club. The air was thick with promise and an unexpected whiff of boiled cabbage.

Though I unfortunately missed the opening deliveries due to a quite fascinating chat with Mrs Grimshaw about the migratory habits of wasps, I am reliably informed that cricket did indeed occur.

Of particular note was the state of the outfield, described by one wag as "ideal for keeping sheep, less so for athletic endeavour." The clouds hung low like a gathering of sullen grey marshmallows, and a light mizzle added a certain tragic poetry to proceedings.

I feel it important to highlight the remarkable selection of cheeses on offer at the refreshments tent. The Wensleydale was particularly forward, while the Stilton carried itself with a proud blue-veined swagger rarely seen in these parts.

As for the match itself, while scores and wickets exchanged hands (or so I assume), the real winner was camaraderie - and, I daresay, Mrs Nettie Featherwick, whose rhubarb flan won the unofficial ‘Pudding of the Day’ accolade.

Final result: Unknown. Spirits: Buoyant. Cheese: Excellent.

Further sporting updates will follow, provided the weather holds, the cheeses are ripe, and I remember to bring my notebook.

- August Terrible
Sporting Matters Editor Since 1972 (On and Off)